The only bet I ever made: a reflection on gambling, role models and young men

I’ve never really been one to gamble. In fact, I can count my gambling history on one hand. My one and only sports bet was back in 1995, when I was 18 years old. I put £10 on the late, great Seve Ballesteros to win the US Masters, golf’s first major championship of the year. Seve finished second last. And just like that, my entire gambling career was over.

Looking back, it was probably a case of heart leading the head. I was a huge fan of Seve growing up. I was a low-handicap golfer myself, and I was drawn to everything about him – his skill, his imagination, his charisma, his leadership. He was a champion, yes, but he was also something far more important: he was a genuinely good role model. Seve made the impossible look possible, but never effortless. You could see the work. The craft. The resilience. He played with flair, but also with humility. He carried himself well. He was worthy of admiration.

What I remember just as clearly as losing my £10, though, is my dad’s reaction. My father, Joe who sadly passed away in 2021, absolutely lambasted me for wasting my money on a bet. He didn’t sugar-coat it. He told me straight that there were no quick wins in life, that money had to be earned, and that success came through blood, sweat and tears. With hindsight, my dad was a role model to me as well. He could put his point across forcefully at times, such was the parent-child dynamic of that era, but I tended to listen. And what he instilled in me stuck: that real strength was about hard work, honesty, good manners, and respect, especially towards women and treating people well, full stop.

When I reflect back to 1995, it feels like a simpler time. Before the internet. Before social media. Before influencers. And when I contrast that world with the one young men are growing up in now, I feel a deep sense of empathy for them. Because gambling today is not just “having a flutter”. It is one part of a much wider constellation of pressures bearing down on young men – pressures that sit within what I’ve come to describe, through my recent work, as a toxic and addictive cultural landscape.

A rapid review of the evidence on problem gambling and gambling harms

The rapid review of evidence I’ve recently completed came from a place of concern – and, if I’m honest, responsibility. We are seeing increasing signals that problem gambling among young men does not happen in isolation. The evidence reviewed makes clear that it is shaped by the environments they inhabit: digital platforms, social media, gaming, advertising, influencer culture, economic insecurity, trauma, mental health pressures, substance use, and rigid expectations of masculinity.

One of the key messages from the evidence is that gambling is no longer confined to betting shops or racecourses. It is woven into everyday digital life. Gambling-like mechanics appear in video games. Gambling promotions appear on social media feeds. Influencers present betting and high-stakes risk as normal, exciting, even aspirational. Another key message from the evidence is that gambling harms often cluster with other harms. Mental health difficulties. Trauma. Alcohol and drug use. Relationship breakdown. Violence. This doesn’t mean gambling “causes” all of these things – but it does mean that for some young men, gambling becomes part of a wider pattern of struggling, coping, escaping, and chasing relief.

Crucially, the review also highlights how early exposure and normalisation matter. When chance-based spending, reward loops and risk-taking are introduced early – long before the age for legal gambling – they shape expectations and behaviours later on.

This isn’t about blaming young men. Quite the opposite. It’s about understanding the world they are navigating, and recognising that it is far more complex, more saturated, and more pressurised than the one I grew up in.

Seve Ballesteros vs “masculinity influencers”

When I think about Seve as a role model, and then look at many of the so-called role models young men are presented with today, the contrast is stark. Seve was genuinely talented. His success was built on years of work, failure, discipline and resilience. He inspired people through what he did, not what he claimed.

As highlighted in the evidence review, many modern “masculinity influencers”, by contrast, are not selling skill or substance. They are selling an image. A performance. A fantasy. They present wealth without work. Confidence without vulnerability. Status without substance. They trade in quick wins, shortcuts, domination and spectacle – often leaning into toxic narratives because those narratives perform well online and generate clicks, followers and money (for the influencers).

Where Seve made me want to practice harder, many influencers make you feel that if you’re not rich, have a six-pack, aren’t fearless and winning all the time, you’re failing. And gambling fits neatly into that story. It promises excitement. Status. A shortcut. A rush. It whispers: you could be the exception. But as presented, the evidence tells us something very different.

A word to young men

I understand the pull of risk-taking and sensation-seeking. I really do. I was that age once. Wanting to test yourself. Wanting to feel alive. Wanting to prove something – to yourself or to others, is not a flaw. It’s human. What concerns me is not that young men seek challenge or excitement. It’s that the cultural landscape increasingly points them towards the wrong outlets.

Gambling, wrapped up in modern digital culture, is not a healthy way to satisfy those urges. And for some, it can quietly slide into addiction, debt, shame and long-term harm before they even realise what’s happening.

The values my father taught me – hard work, honesty, respect, earning your way – may sound old-fashioned, but they endure for a reason. They give you something solid to stand on when life gets difficult.

I feel nostalgic for that simpler time, yes – but I’m also hopeful. Hopeful that we can do better for young men. Hopeful that we can offer healthier role models. Hopeful that we can build cultures that value growth over shortcuts, substance over spectacle, and wellbeing over profit. And hopeful that young men themselves will hear this message: your worth is not measured by wins, wealth or followers. And the hardest, most meaningful successes are still the ones that are earned.